Do you ever do things you regret almost instantly? Sure you do! Don't we all! Well I have to write about this before I just start crying! I have a love affair with my art, particularly with my art dolls! I realize that my dolls are so special to me, because I dream them into life! I usually start with a dream, or a sketch. When I am making a doll they come to me magically! I am their creator and their keeper and I usually make them for someone special, and I come to realize I dont make them for profit!
Here is the kick and why this blog post is named "an artist remorse" last night I went out to dinner with my best friend and had a fabulous time as always! Upon returning home still I wanted to stay up and party a little bit more! I end up at my neighbors meeting new friends which comes easily to me! Everyone wanted to come see my studio, which always makes me happy because the people that really know me knows it is my sacred space! So yes I love to share it with anyone that wants to visit!
Have I forgot to tell you I have a little too much to drink? Well yes I did! And I almost feel I dont ever want to have another drop of alcohol ever again! Cause what comes out of my mouth next is "hey take whatever you want" .... and so in this episode one of my most favorite dolls goes out the door with a total stranger! AHHHHHHHHHHH! If you know me well you know this, my dolls are special creatures that come to me like pieces of a fantasy world that belongs to me and to those special people that I choose to give them too. I feel remorse because I can think of a bunch of other people that dont possess any of my dolls that I know for sure will love to have one. I only have been making dolls for 9 months so I guarantee you the people that have them, are very special people in my life, like my mom, my daughter, my close close friends, family members, and the people that appreciate my art and have paid me good money for them! So can you understand my feelings now?
I feel so sad that one of my very special dolls is gone! I love them all, but if you make dolls you know there are always a couple that you just know they be with you forever. Girl dress in pink, has been calling my name all morning saying, "how could you?" I am writing about this with the hope that I feel better about it after a while! I just want total recall, and say can I have her back please since I was just stupidly drunk! Well lesson learned I suppose!
Of course all I ask in return was, spread the word about me and my art. Which I really really hope it happens! I ask these girls to bring one other person with them so I can start my idea of "art and bubbles" Which is an idea I have of getting together with other girls that have interest in learning to play with art while talking about girly subjects and sipping wine! And of course I want to tell these girls if you ever want to get rid of them please return them to me!
And now I am up to making a doll that will make me feel better about the fact that two precious dolls are gone to hopefully a good house! And I wont go without making myself and all of my love ones (that dont have a doll) a promise to make each and everyone one because of course I can think of many people around me that do deserve a very special doll! Let me tell you most of my dolls come to me as an inspiration of someone I already know in my life.
Here is the start of my list of recipients of my promise dolls!
Alfredo, because I have already in my mind the doll I want for him.
Susan, because I already have her favorite one
Kelly, for her very generous spirit, also I have the doll she inspire already
Yuko, for she is my spirit sister, I also have her doll, but she is living in Japan and I have been wondering whether it will make it there safely.
Willowing.org because she is my teacher an a wonderful inspiration
Karen my sister in law because I know she will love and appreciate her
Miss Judi, because her birthday is coming and I know she deserves it, not to mentioned she is a wonderful mother-in-law
Angie, because she reminds me of my beautiful daughter, I also have her doll
Rubye, she gets the painting she wants!
Suzi Blu, my first art teacher and a total inspiration, which will get her doll when I get to meet her in person at the "inspire workshop" in May, 2011
Alberto, Laura, Diana...Monica Zuniga, the list goes on and on!
Of course these are the people I can think right now that will be super happy to have one of my dolls! And this is not to say these girls that took my dolls last night are non deserving of them, is just that I feel like I did a silly, stupid thing while under the influence of my extremely generous drunkenness....! And my special dolls when home with total strangers!
Ah I already feel better! I hope this wonderful mistake pays me back in time, with new friendships and the start of fabulous workshops!
Please if you gotten this far, and have read all of this silliness please comment away, Im sure it will make me feel a lot better!!!! Specially if you are an artist and had ever done something like this yourself!